The Secret's Out...

These past couple of months have been a roller coaster ride. The resulting graphs on my CGM show sporadic spikes, coupled with extreme lows. The bad hypoglycemic episodes appear nightly around the hours of 3 am - 6 am. I'd wake up to a beeping alarm sounding in my ears and disheveled hair that stuck to my sweat drenched face. 


I felt like I was walking around in a haze with a bad hangover that I couldn't shake. I didn't have the control that I needed and I felt like I was running out of solutions. Adjust the Lantus dosage. Tried it. Eat a protein rich snack before bed. I ate until I felt sick. I was overwhelmed by my squelched efforts and feeling frustrated by this constant battle. 


One of the first questions my endocrinologist asked me was what areas I needed assistance. My fight for better control topped the list. I knew going into this appointment that he was a proponent of the insulin pump. In fact, the first thing his assistant did was hand me a hefty stack of reading materials on the various pumping options. 


Up until this point, my reaction to the pump has been, shut it down... you will have to take me kicking and screaming. I refuse to live my daily life looking and feeling like a patient. After having tried to manage this disease for the past ten months with multiple daily injections, I was open to hearing more about insulin pump therapy. The majority of our conversation was centered around this debate and the responses to my concerns were exactly what I needed to hear. I took home the reading materials and scoured through every page for facts, studies, and the pros/cons. In the end, I decided that yes, I would give it a whirl.


I view this as a very personal decision, which is why I made my choice before informing anyone of my new treatment route. It is the most pragmatic solution at this time and a conclusion that I needed to arrive at on my own. I've fought hard against the pump in the past because to me it symbolized failure... I was relinquishing control to a medical device. I am type A... this is not good. In my head I felt like I was admitting that I couldn't do it on my own and that I needed to bring in the big guns to help me make it through the day. Few people knew what was happening, but a couple of times I was asked, "I thought you were doing okay?" Now I totally feel like I failed. I am doing okay, but I need to take all necessary steps to ensure my future health. Reigning things in as tightly as possible can help me to avoid major complications down the line. 

After I made my choice, things were moving at lightning speed ahead. I called my region's sales rep and met him that afternoon at Starbucks. He showed me the device, went over all the additional questions that had come up, and I signed on the dotted line. The insurance was approved by week's end and the package arrived to my work the following Tuesday. 


Today marks day two of pumping with insulin (the CDE started me off with saline to help me adjust to the change in insulin delivery). She has been a great resource and has taken so much of her time to do all the necessary calculations to ensure that something traumatic does not occur. She even presented my case to the director of our local children's hospital, due to the fact that my insulin dosages are so low (the pump dispenses rapid-acting insulin and for me a slight overdose could prove to be fatal). 


I am extremely happy with my decision and I am already seeing an improvement in my numbers. MDI inhibited me because the smallest dosage I could give myself was one unit. The Animas pump allows me to take as little as .025 units of insulin. Amazing! No more needles... I change my site every three days. I even have a handheld glucose meter that allows me to inject insulin without removing my pump from my clothing. 


I will continue to update you all on my progress with pump therapy, as well as explaining it in greater detail. These first couple of days are critical, so please keep me in your prayers as we adjust the basal/bolus levels until they are just right (hello, Goldilocks!).