I Wish I Had a Mute Button

Can we please invoke the overly-used-by-moms-but-oh-so-helpful phrase, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Weren't we all taught to use this phrase as a rule of thumb when we were children? If so, shouldn't it stand to reason that as adults this bit of wisdom should be ingrained in us? I question why so many people have decided that the previously stated phrase doesn't apply to them. Could it be that they honestly mean well and believe saying anything is better than saying nothing? I can't imagine a stranger having malicious intent when they approach me, however, sometimes I wish I could just press mute!


I was diagnosed less than a month ago and I have already been exposed to the following:

• "You have diabetes? I thought only fat people got that."
• "My father had diabetes. He had his toes amputated, went on dialysis, and died."
• "I knew someone who had diabetes. They had a stroke and died."
• "That's the one you eat yourself into, right?"

On the other end of the spectrum:

• "It's really not that big of a deal. So many people have it. You will be fine."
• "You can eat whatever you want. Just take more insulin."
• "Well my friend has diabetes and she drinks until she passes out. She eats whatever she wants including McDonald's. All. The. Time. You are being too cautious."

And my personal favorite... the unsolicited advice:

• "You need to workout and eat healthy foods and..." I'm sorry. I just zoned because now I am trying to figure out what you think I do with my time. 
• "Why aren't you on the pump? It fits all lifestyles..."

**DISCLAIMER**

The above annoyances do not apply to anyone that I have personally approached about information pertaining to their complications, lifestyles, and recommendations. 

My frustration lies with the people who know little to nothing about the disease, yet they still try to tell me what I should be doing. And the strangers that decide to enthrall me with stories of diabetes resulting in death. Do they think this brightens my day? That I leave them feeling encouraged? No. I become equally as frustrated with the people that dismiss it as being something as minor as a head cold. Trust me, I wish it was something so simple, but it is not.


What I am asking is for people to think before they speak. Is it crucial for me to know about your friend-of-a-friend? Is your advice going to be constructive and help me through my day? If not, please keep your thoughts to yourself and go about your day.

I spoke with two friends this past week and they shared the same advice. One friend is in remission from lymphoma and the other underwent fertility treatments. Essentially, they told me that I need to know my limits and when to push that faux mute button. If people start in on their personal opinions and horror stories, I need to give myself permission to stop them and explain that while I appreciate where their heart is at, I am on information overload, and I need a break from the negative side of the disease. I haven't done it yet, but I hope that if/when I do, people will be receptive to my requests.

I received an email from a friend a few weeks ago. She told me she was praying for me and that before she said anything more, she was going to read up on the disease so that she was knowledgeable when she spoke with me. It was one of the best messages I have received-- she understood.

I'm working on my patience because it is important for me to help educate others on the seriousness of this chronic illness. I just wish people would give me the opportunity to explain where I'm coming from unless they can truly say they understand.