Winning.

The exhaustion had set in. I needed time to recover from the mess that had just transpired. I felt the weight of the disease with every story that came my way relating to complications, death, and failed research studies. This wasn't going to be getting better anytime soon. I found it difficult to read these things without jumping twenty steps ahead into what might happen if my levels didn't stabilize. It's hard to feel hopeful when things are spiraling out of control. 

I've been reminded time and time again to hand over the reigns and trust that the Lord will provide. It is a lesson that I need to take to heart, or I just may drive myself crazy. Today has enough problems of it's own and I don't need to fast forward to hypotheticals that will send me reeling. He is with me today, just as He is with me tomorrow. Diabetes has taught me that things can change in a heartbeat; I can follow the same routine and sometimes my body will still go haywire. I will have my good and bad days, but it is much easier to get through them when I take them one step at a time. This doesn't come easily for my personality type, but for the sake of my health and sanity, I sure am going to try. I've done it my way and spun my wheels. Now, I'm ready to trust in the plans that the Lord has for me. Only He knows what tomorrow holds and there is no safer place to be than in His loving arms.

If you couldn't guess, I had hit my threshold. Fortunately for me, shortly thereafter, my levels stabilized. I was flatlining my way across that CGM. Take that diabetes!